It’s hard for me to admit however in this moment I am truly happy.
Oddly enough, since I lost my brother at age 15 it’s been hard for me to admit if I was happy, if I like something or even someone. See, I felt if I truly was happy everything would be taken away, just like my brother was. So, I’ve spent the last 32 years of my life subconsciously sabotaging things and I wouldn’t get my hopes up to save myself from being disappointed.
In my business, instead of focusing on the aspect that I truly loved, I would hide behind deadlines, and push for perfection to the point everyone around me would be unhappy. For years, I continued to strive to achieve things that would make people like me but I didn’t enjoy the work behind it.
The worse part about purposely avoiding happiness, Justin and I had arguments that were unnecessary, But instead, I put up a 100 foot wall By the Grace of God Justin King hung in there
Now as a mother, I am crazy about them, my whole life has been dedicated to making them happy.
When I decided to become an Insurance Broker it was to help others, rather than focus on the aspects of the business that I am happy doing.
There is that word again Happy… even saying it makes me feel a little scared. But this morning, I realize after hearing the founder of The Happy Neighbors project Edwin Edebiri on Eric Lofholm Daily Motivational Call that the reason I haven’t achieved the success that I want is I am subconsciously avoiding that #1 thing that is needed to have True Sucess and that is Happiness.
Ironically I’ve been praying to God to reveal the aspect of my life that I need to work on in order to achieve the goals he has laid before me.
In this season I am….
1) To trust in God
2) Be ok with being happy and leave everything else in God’s hands.
3) Just consistently do my Job knowing God will handle the rest and bring the right clients, the right people, and the right situations.
Above is my Mother’s Day Picture one thing I noticed was my smile is very different and I realized that it’s because I AM HAPPY.
I am thankful for what God is doing, going to do and has done.